ZThemes

50 shades of grey is the worst book ever written and if you think it’s good you’re a moron

i dare you to give me 1 (ONE) valid argument in defense of this rancid pile of steaming horse manure you people call breathtaking literature, i triple dare you B]

An open letter to everyone who uses Fifty Shades of Grey as a means to inspire themselves to become published

I hate to burst your bubble, but hear me out, because I used to think the same way as you: “Oh, if this garbage got published, I can make it in the publishing world, too!”

No, you can’t, not as easily. Unless you write equal garbage, but I’ve seen this phrase used by people with a more than adequate grasp on what good literature is, and while I understand why they might be using this “book” as a means to inspire themselves to write in general (this is a great tactic!), it’s wrong to assume that the modern publishing market has no standards and will accept your work as well, no matter its content (quality being a more lenient matter).

The fact that that vomit-inducing guide to an abusive and manipulative relationship ever made it on the bookstore shelves does not indicate how easy it is to get published. It indicates that mindless drivel with template-like characters and a harmful message is easy to get published, as opposed to novels with colorful and believable characters and/or an important message. Twilight started a fad that is a sure way to get money, and Fifty Shades of Grey latched right on, followed by less successful novels like Bared to You.

The fad is to create a lead male character as perfect as possible, and a co-lead female character as bland as possible, with only “endearing” traits like ditziness and naivete that borders on stupidity because they attract men (and while they do attract men, it’s kind of men who won’t treat you as an equal human being given those qualities). This way your average squealing tween girls and lonely housewives can slap themselves right into that template and live out their fantasy of being pampered 24/7 and loved unconditionally by Prince Charming. In itself, there is nothing wrong with musing about a handsome, rich, kind, and overall perfect man every once in a while, but NOT over a creepy manipulative stalker.

If after reading FSOG you feel in any way empowered, then you’re that stupid woman that believes she’s actually worth something to the Christian Grey-esque man as an individual. In reality the said kind of man would most likely use you for nothing more than an item to compare himself to and feel superior, while tricking you into thinking otherwise by offering you gifts and riches instead of intelligent conversations and respect for your own opinion, endorsing you to keep up that annoying behavior to keep the man, but preventing yourself from developing into a smarter person. 

But my post is not about how harmful a message this kind of book sends, it’s about the fact that people should stop thinking that publishers have stopped having standards altogether and will publish every half-done draft they get because awful “books” like that get published.

Sure, a lot of publishers will let anything slide as long as it’s popular and profitable, and throw it out the door to go and rake up cash, but if you happen to write an intelligent novel that inspires critical, creative, and/or independent thinking, then you better bet that publishers will be hesitant to put effort and money towards a book which holds a message incompatible with dimwitted sheep who can’t tell a roll of toilet paper from a book.

Think about this and be a bit more realistic, but in no way become discouraged~

fyeah50shadesofgrey:

Christian Has Anastasia’s Back Against the Wall
“Sex pretty much cures everything.”― Chuck Palahniuk, Choke


Did you just fucking quote Chuck Palahniuk in a 50 Shades post?
I will fucking gut you c:

fyeah50shadesofgrey:

Christian Has Anastasia’s Back Against the Wall

“Sex pretty much cures everything.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

Did you just fucking quote Chuck Palahniuk in a 50 Shades post?

I will fucking gut you c:

fiftyshadesofboring:

- Fifty Shades Freed
OH GOOD NOW THE WHOLE FAMILY CAN ALL DIE OF HEPATITIS. EVERYONE’S DREAMS ARE COMING TRUE!
Well… my dreams.


OH GOD this is so wrong on so many levels I want to vomit.

fiftyshadesofboring:

- Fifty Shades Freed

OH GOOD NOW THE WHOLE FAMILY CAN ALL DIE OF HEPATITIS. EVERYONE’S DREAMS ARE COMING TRUE!

Well… my dreams.

OH GOD this is so wrong on so many levels I want to vomit.

fiftyshadesofboring:

- Fifty Shades Freed
The butt drawer is my favorite character in this whole series.

fiftyshadesofboring:

- Fifty Shades Freed

The butt drawer is my favorite character in this whole series.

fiftyshadesofboring:

- Fifty Shades Freed
He rubs his nose on her nipple? Weird? 
If someone did this to me, I would deff just start laughing. Nose-rubbing does not get me going, I must admit.


SOGPIDOFGPADFIOGAHD /PEES

fiftyshadesofboring:

- Fifty Shades Freed

He rubs his nose on her nipple? Weird? 

If someone did this to me, I would deff just start laughing. Nose-rubbing does not get me going, I must admit.

SOGPIDOFGPADFIOGAHD /PEES

fiftyshadesofboring:

- Fifty Shades Freed
I don’t understand how she’s confused about what that means?
I also don’t understand how Ana could weigh 45lbs on a fat day but still have breasts big enough to titty fuck.


/PUKES LAUGHING

fiftyshadesofboring:

- Fifty Shades Freed

I don’t understand how she’s confused about what that means?

I also don’t understand how Ana could weigh 45lbs on a fat day but still have breasts big enough to titty fuck.

/PUKES LAUGHING

anomalistic-mind:

Twilight is so shitty that it inspired E.L. James to write a even shittier book like Fifty Shades of Grey, thank you so much Stephenie Meyer. 

THIS IS FUCKING EMBARRASING
BEE, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING
MAN YOU ARE ON MY INSPIRATION LIST MAN
WHY ARE YOU BETRAYING ME
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCKFUCK
OKAY ADMITTEDLY I FUCKING HATED THE AMERICAN PSYCHO BOOK BUT SHIT I CAN DEFINITELY SEE AND ADMIRE YOUR HARD WORK BUT THIS? BUT THIS? NNNNNNNNNO.

THIS IS FUCKING EMBARRASING

BEE, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING

MAN YOU ARE ON MY INSPIRATION LIST MAN

WHY ARE YOU BETRAYING ME

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCKFUCK

OKAY ADMITTEDLY I FUCKING HATED THE AMERICAN PSYCHO BOOK BUT SHIT I CAN DEFINITELY SEE AND ADMIRE YOUR HARD WORK BUT THIS? BUT THIS? NNNNNNNNNO.